ⓒⓐⓡⓔ ⓣⓞ ⓔⓧⓟⓛⓐⓘⓝ?

keep on writing keepin writing keep on writing.

forever and ever, writing over and over, words like this make life seem almost special.

SUP BITCHES

GUESS WHOS BACK.

quitting tumblr

pe@ce bitchez

maybe the problem is actually me.

i spent so much time blaming the faults of my life on others, being supported in this existence of blamelessness that I assumed no responsibility for myself.  Even now, I try to blame people for making me this way.

i am mean.  i am rude.  i am selfish.  i am not the girl you knew once before.  i am not special, unique, or interesting.  i am the fly that buzzes around the fruit of the world, pesty, persistent.

I sometimes like to think that maybe I am different.  maybe I am not useless or confused, or wandering in the abyss that is my mind.  the cavern with such depth yet no substance.  so much thought, yet nothing sticks.  i am a shell of emotions and misunderstandings, robotic reactions to everyday activities.

I will disappoint you. 

You, person with substance, brains, kindness.  You, out there, suffering because of my meanness of manner.

I will not be a butterfly, I will not weave silk or paint pictures of mountains. 

I write things like this, it’s what I do, and these things, they are not made of beauty.